I’m glad others can see a reason for Lisa being interpreted as standoffish. Me, I just wandered around in bewilderment wondering how some would see Lisa as a stuffed shirt. I found her warm and wise, and not afraid to tell people when they were being idiots.
I have no doubt she felt a lot for Reiber’s death, but that seemed to be the source of her more…mushy moments (not merely soft, because staying in that office to die was just crazy) rather than any alleged coldness.
As to their marriage, well, there are reasons to delay it as in the EU, and reasons to speed it up, as in “right after the TV show”.
I suppose nine years is too long even if you’re takin the more realistic/less idealistic approach, but I can see justification for waiting.
After the on-again, off-again nature of their relationship, maybe Lisa was at first hesitant, not willing to bind things up with legal red tape when Rick might stray again. (a ring wouldn’t be an ironclad guarantee of Rick from straying, after all)
And marriage is a big commitment, so they might need to date a while, get to know each other without Rick being fickle or war looming right this second. But, if we’re talking Expanded Universe again, there was a lot of strife going on after the Macross segment ended.
On the other hand, Robotech is an idealized story, and in stories like that, little trouble usually comes from being married right off the bat, no matter what their relationship was like before (look at Max and Miriya!).